February 23, 2022




Paige Huntsman

Your Job is to Love and Learn

That is not my burden to bear.
Ive been thinking alot this week about love. Ive learned alot about love on my mission. Ive struggled with relationships my whole life. Friends are hard for me, dating is hard, being close to people is hard. I have always saved that closeness for a select few people, my family and my extended family. They have been the only people to see me as my true self. As I went to college and moved away from that support system I had to branch out and let people in. As a missionary living with someone 24/7 I have really had to learn how to communicate and talk about my feelings. That has helped me to realize that I never had a problem loving people. I used to just think that I hated people, but in reality Ive learned that I love deeply. I love people soul deep and I love learning about them. I love helping people and want so badly for them to be happy. Ive also learned the side affects that come from a love like that. The pain that comes from loving people so much and wanting everything to go right in their life. People have agency and I cant micromanage every detail for them. From an outside perspective it makes sense to me why those I love arent happy but to them, it doesnt. Thats life. To our Heavenly Father it makes sense. He knows exactly what little tweak or sharp turn we need to make to feel fulfilled again. But He doesnt force us. He watches and Im sure its painful for Him as He sees His children who He loves so much make the wrong decisions but for Him and for us who love so deeply there is the same source of relief and hope. God respects agency and so should we no matter how hard that is to accept. There is nothing we or He can do other than lay it all in the hands of the one who heals. Jesus Christ. Its painful to see those we love suffer but its not our burden to bear. Jesus Christ has already borne it. He knows what they've done and will or wont continue to do. He understands them perfectly and what they are lacking that makes them act the way they do. He understands us too. He knows how it feels to want and hope and wish. He knows. So give it all to Him. Even our Heavenly Father gave it all to Him. He sent His Only Begotten Son to suffer in the garden and to die on the cross knowing that that was the only way for His other children to return back to live with Him for eternity. Yes its hard. Yes it sucks. Yes it makes you want to cry and sometimes it makes you just sit there and think why? Why God did it have to be this way? But He has a plan. A perfect plan. One that respects the individual and loves the sinner enough to give infinite possibilities for change, so when they are ready, healing is possible. This is not your burden to bear. You are not required to feel the pain that Jesus Christ already did. Whenever you are ready, give it all to Him.

Sorry for the deep start but thats just been on my mind recently with friends at home and friends here in Finland. Everyone has a unique path to walk in this life. Their relationship with Jesus Christ is personal and their own. We cant do much more than share of Him, pray for them, be an example and let Jesus do what He does best. Hearts are softened through Him only.

We saw a miracle this week. On Wednesday after Pday we had to be adults. ScArY. We had to take our car to be serviced IN FLIPPING FINLAND. Okay Im being dramatic but we had to do that. Thank Heavens we did. I want to acknowledge the factors that were so extremely intricate and perfect and touched by God: Our appointment was scheduled for 9.30 on Wednesday, February 16, 2022, we prayed for the work that God needed us to do at the auto repair shop if He did have a work for us to do there, consistent with last weeks title it was raining, the workers spoke english, we stayed to wait in the lobby, we had a box of Books of Mormon in our trunk, we had Books of Mormon in our backpacks. A specific man was working on our car that day.

As we sat studying finnish in the lobby, a man walked up to me and said "You speak english right?" I thought he came to tell us the car had a problem. He sat down infront of me and said, "I was working on your car and you can get the paperwork at table 3 but you guys have a book." We said yes we do. He said "I worked on this same car a while ago and you people told me about your book. I have been trying to find where to get one. Could you tell me?" We told him there was one in my backpack. I gave it to him and we got his name and phone number. He asked us about the Doctrine and Covenants and I explained a little about Joseph Smith. He thanked us for the book and got back to work. We were both speechless. God just lead a man to us. We were in the right place at the right time. Miracles still happen.

Our week was kinda weird not too much happened. We did have a ton of people at ping pong though. Like A TON. The biggest party I've been to in Finland. We met people from all over the world. The funniest guy from France that we couldnt understand. Our returners from Turkey and Iraq. Two guys from Bangladesh. A few finns. A guy from Chicago. It was really fun. The flirt from Iran was there and cornered me again... The duck man came and we played pool. He taught me the terms in Finnish.

Sunday we had a surprise birthday party for Sisar Nyland after church. We had really good "tortillas" as the finns would say. I made a cake from a box mix her mom sent.

I got to call home and watch Brody open his acceptance letter to BYU. Im so proud of him!! A much needed family reunion.

This week we have pday on Wednesday because tomorrow we have Zone conference. We have to roleplay in front of everyone and teach for an hour. Pray for us.

I may or may not have gotten some insider news from someone about my very last transfer call which happens in 3 weeks. I wont say what I heard because I dont want to jinx it but if its true I will cry happy tears. Katsotaan!!!

I love you and God loves you more!!

Sisar Keeks Johnson

Random additions:
I got told more than once this week that I look and act like a finn. An american guy asked my companion where shes from and then turned to me and said "and youre from finland?" Im gonna miss that.

We played sähly tonight and Im getting better. I wanna bring it back to the US so bad!!!!

Pics explained:
We had a haircutting party last pday
I love my Sis Sanders and Im gonna miss her
We went HARD at sähly
The prettiest sunset on my 1 year in Finland
2 party planners
We got 2 feet of snow and my hair froze


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