As I said before, this week has been a little rough. I've been kind of spacey and then during companionship inventory (a time where companions can have a "confessional" of sorts and decide what to work on), I brought up a concern about our lessons and then I got really emotional about it (and I didn't even realize I was). The past few weeks, I've been working on the balance in lessons and making sure I listen more and don't talk. Over several weeks though, I now feel guilty every time I speak in lessons because I feel as though I'm taking away from someone else (and then feel terrible and self-conscience after lessons). I didn't realize this explicitly until comp inventory though and so I was really emotional yesterday because I had suppressed these emotions I didn't know existed! I'm now trying to work on finding a balance between listening and talking without feeling guilty for following the spirit or sharing my testimony.
I also got released as an STL this week, which was hard because that was my favorite calling. I feel like I don't have as many opportunities to serve now, but I'll just have to be more creative :)
HF has blessed me this week and strengthened me through other people. My mom gave me these strawberry candies which are my favorite and every time I eat one, I know she loves me :) (however I need to eat them all in the next few weeks because I can't take that much weight to Japan)
Also, when we were going to the BYU Student Health Center for Pierre Shimai, I got to see Robyn! (my cousin!) She was walking home on the other side of the street and saw me! I know for sure that the Lord made that happen because that was the only time we were off of MTC campus, and there were so many little things that could have taken longer, Robyn could have decided to go to the store, etc. But seeing her instantly brightened my day and I couldn't stop smiling (even though I was rather shocked in the moment).
I don't think you all know how much I love your emails! I'm able to read them at any point during the week, but not respond - so sometimes I receive an email during the week at the exact time I need it. I love you all so much! Thank you, and I pray for you!