April 5, 2016

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Mid Week Mailed Letter

Sis- April 5, 2016
As President Holland mentioned in his talk….”have you returned to earth” yet since the General conference High? I know you loved being fed by the spirit and basking in the words of the beloved apostles. So thankful for God’s church and that we are a part of it. So thankful for modern day prophets and apostles. We are so very blessed to have the knowledge we have and to be able to continue to have daily direction in our lives if we choose to partake of it. I told Dad to put the talks on CD for you so we can mail them to you again.
Hey I found a quote this morning and thought it might apply to you and your companionships so maybe you could share it. (Obviously yours is not a dating situation) but could still apply.
“In a dating and courtship relationship, I would not have you spend five minutes with someone who belittles you, one who is constantly critical of you, one who is cruel at your expense and may even call it humor. Life is tough enough without the person who is supposed to love you leading the assault on your self-esteem, your sense of dignity, your confidence, and your joy. In this person’s care, you deserve to feel physically safe and emotionally secure.” – Jeffery R. Holland (New Era October 2003)
Sis, continue to LEAD WITH LOVE and you will see great results. I’m thankful you are having all of these experiences now so that you will be that much better at communicating with your eternal spouse. In marriage you can’t think well, I’ve only got 2 more weeks left with this person and then I’m on to the next companion. You’ll have to talk about whatever is bothering you and approach Him with love as if your marriage/companionship depends on it because it will. I think Heavenly Father expects the same from companionships because you are teaching His children and your hearts and spirits need to be unified in order to teach with the Holy Ghost present. I hope you’ve been able to talk with you companion and I’m hoping it went well. I know you can do it because you’ve been through a couple situations in previous companionships. This is the perfect training ground for marriage sis! You will reflect back on your talks you’ve had with your companions when you’re married and realize how much of that you can use and have learned. When you’re blissfully married for the first month you’ll think oh I love him so much we will never fight! Haha, at some point the “honey moon” phase comes to an end and real life happens. Not that you won’t be in love anymore but the “real” personalities finally emerge! Just as you told us a few weeks ago that you wanted this companion to “kill” you and now you may be thinking differently.
Sis, I am so much like you it’s not even funny so I need to share this with you in order to save you some possible pain down the road. I have learned this about myself over the 48 years I’ve been on this earth. Now maybe you’re not like me in this aspect but in case you are then it’s worth mentioning. Often during my marriage and even with you kids I find myself being offended and getting upset and mad because of something that dad or someone said to me. When I finally cool off and think about the situation I sometimes come to a painful realization that I was not right or at least there was truly another way to go about the situation we were facing. My problem that I battle in my life is PRIDE. I don’t like to be wrong, be told I’m wrong or to be made to look like I’m stupid. I really have struggled with this in my life and continue to do so though I’m getting a little bit quicker recognizing it’s my pride speaking and then I’m able to say I’m sorry faster. Sometimes I don’t even let the situation get to the point it use to now because I can see I don’t have to be right. Still not easy but I’m at least more aware. This doesn’t mean I’m always willing to back down though. I’m not sure if any of the situations that have happened with your current companion or past companions is due to your doing or their doing or pride but it’s something to think about. Maybe none of it applies so if I’m wrong then just skip over the last sentence haha. 
I know that Heavenly Father will help you know what to say if you go to Him in love and you will be able to work through any situation in your life with the help of your father in heaven.
I have a conference talk that I think you will enjoy. I really love this talk by Elder Kevin R. Duncan. Please know I’m not suggesting this applies to your current companionship but only that I really like this talk and hopefully you can enjoy it too and find something that will help you maybe now or in your overall life.
I laughed when reading Jered’s email to you because I was thinking how he was now thinking about you going home. No need for you to get trunky because he is getting trunky for you lol. Not sure about that kid? Have you been able to enjoy being in this area with Elder Hunky as a Z.L.? haha thought you would enjoy the new name I gave him. haha! An old F.B. photo to make you smile! Not sure how old he is in this Justin Beber photo? 
Has all of your snow melted yet? I hope you are able to start enjoying some spring weather soon. Our spring break has been colder than normal.  I’m so sad because I finally had some time off but didn’t really want to be out in the cold weather much. When I go back to work I will only have 7 ½ weeks left until summer break!!! Yay!! We are out of school on Wednesday June 1st! I am really looking forward to summer so I can work out hard and get back in shape! I am dying to plant some flowers and do some yard work. Truman mowed the grass yesterday but it was still pretty short and patchy. He mowed over one of my ornamental grasses around the lamp post and I only had 3. I wasn’t too happy with him. Not sure it will grow back now.  Besides that July 13th will be just around the corner from that!
I was looking back at my mission journal and it seems like yesterday but then again it feels like it was a lifetime ago when I was in Brazil and the world revolved around me and my mission. Haha! I was only home for two weeks and your dad proposed to me! He was a mover and a shaker! He certainly didn’t waste any time! I don’t know if I ever told you but when I gave my mission report I had an engagement ring on my hand haha! Seems crazy now that I think back at it. I’m sure our parents were like whoa man she just got home haha! We had dated a lot before the missions though and wrote during the three year mission time. At least we didn’t get married until November though so we had some time apart before we got married. I got engaged May 12th and Married November 30th.
I was reading my last part of my journal and I read that I was with my last companion for 2 months and two weeks. 10 weeks total which was not uncommon in my mission back in the day. She was such a brat and she couldn’t stand me so it was so hard at first. Eventually she learned to love me (haha) and we became good friends. It took her that long to realize that I wasn’t trying to boss her around though and that I was just showing her the ropes of a mission and how thigs were done. She cried when she was transferred and so did I. It was hard to say goodbye to her after all we had been through. She was an only child and she was quite spoiled so that made it even more difficult. She was used to getting her way and when she didn’t she would throw a tantrum. Ugh! Oh the challenges of learning to deal with other women and personality types. Good thing were not all alike or this world would be a boring place. Wait no it would be so awesome if everyone was just like me!! Bahaha!
Well sis I’d better wrap it up and get the blinds washed today. So fun I know! I took them down for painting and haven’t put them back up yet because I’ve been waiting to wash them. Some are too long to fit in my bathtub so I’ll literally have to wash them in the shower (naked) so I don’t get soaked haha don’t tell anyone! Lol Don’t know any other way to get them clean since they are past dusting.
The paint looks great upstairs and I’m going to decorate up there now that it looks good. I’ve never really decorated up there so I’ve decided to figure out how to make it look a bit more inviting up there. I need your advice on decorating! Help…
I love you so much sis! I know it is probably getting a little harder to stay focused a fired up about the work but you can do it sis! Make each day better than the last and you’ll finish strong. I was trying to work so hard up until the last day on my mission because the time seemed to go faster for me that way.
I love you to the moon and all the way back to Noblesville Indiana!
Love Mom


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