Hello everybody! I bet you're wondering about my alarming subject line of this email but I'll explain it later! I promise!
I learned a hecka lot about how to be a missionary in this past week. It feels like eternity went by but it also feels like it was just a second. Time is a convoluted idea that doesn't really mean anything on a mission. So now I'm just going to throw it out the window.
So I went on two partner exchanges this week. I got to be with someone in Munich and someone in passau. The Munich man is a zone leader so he's very good at missionaring and taught me a lot. I learned that walking next to someone and saying "SÄRVUS WOULD YOU LIKE TO TAKE A SURVEY" is a very ineffective way of doing things. So I learned to be more chill like a German and not smiley and scary like an American. It's hard.
There's this thing called the German stare. All the Americans here make fun of Germans because they're the opposite of Americans. As my companion always says, an American is like a peach and a German is like a coconut. Americans are easy to get to know, but to really go to the center of them is hard whereas Germans are hard to learn anything about, but once you know them everything is open. So back to the stare. When you walk past someone on the street you say hi right?
Not in Germany. I still say hi to everyone out of habit and smile, but 99% of germans give me this cold, hard stare that pierces directly into my soul and asks me "why are you smiling at me?"
My companion also told me that smiling is flirtatious.
So one day I really wanted to buy a flower so we went down to our little store and I was holding a flower pot in my hand and this 79 year old woman walks by and my American kicks in and I smile and say hi :)
So she looks at me strange and says she's way to old for me and says she's 79 and I should try someone younger. And I was totally confused but my companion was laughing at me.
He told me it looked like I was trying to give a flower to her.
So yeah, I Flirt With grannies out here on my mission.
I GOT ON THE NEWS! That was also going to be my subject for the day but I flipped a coin and got grannies.
While I was in Munich this news reporter dude comes up to us and asks our opinion on a big controversy in Germany.
My companion gave a bad answer because he didn't actually know what they were talking about, but when it came to me to answer I told them I had no idea what they were talking about and so they explained to me that there's a law that forces public buildings to have a cross on their doorway. They wanted my opinion on that law so of course I said
"HI I'm American, I think it's kind of dumb too be honest, but in the lds church they stress freedom of religion and that finding out for yourself if there's a God is something very personal and something that no one else can do for you"
So I got to advertise the lds church.
My companion told me later that that was one of the biggest radio stations in Germany. He also told me that they probably only left the "I'm American and I think it's dumb" part in. But I can hope. Golden Kraft and austausch wunder
So those are my major stories, all my little stories will be down here for you troopers reading this huge wall of text.
TEAM JACOB - We were at a members house with like 5 grandma's in it and one of them was talking about twilight. She said Bella was an absolute idiot because she had this tan man with huge muscles and dark hair that was attracted to her, but she chose the snow white twig instead. She was livid.
I love grandmas
Challenge Accepted - My companion really needed to use the bathroom, but he also wanted to play solitaire. I told him why not both? So he got up and took an iron board and a stack of cards and went to the bathroom for an hour.
Unbedingt!- I went up to some couple and asked them if they wanted to hear more about the church and they said unbedingt! So I turned and walked away because I thought unbedingt meant no, but it actually meant absolutely. They had to run back to me and ask me why I left so I pulled the ol' "I'm American I don't speak german" card on them. They ended up leaving with two book of Mormons.
Ripped German Boy - literally every companion I've had so far is doing absolutely intense morning sport and my whole life is constant physical pain. In two years I'm going to be the size of a mountain
Prophecies Fulfilled - We did a book of Mormon display on the streets and my companions predicted a Jehovah witness group near our stand, a bible basher and a utah couple. All of those happened. The Jehovah witness set up right next to our stand trying to take away people, but they're not actually allowed to approach people so no one even stopped near them. And then a bible basher came up and called us evil idiots and that jesus doesnt love us and whatnot which was fun. And then some super nice utah old couple came up and took a selfie with us. Also some guy yelled at us to stop preaching and to save the kids in Africa instead.
DOG - I got to meet a Dalmatian which is the best breed of dog ever. I saw him on the street so I DRAGGED my companion over there and asked the owner if I could take a selfie with him. What a good boy.
Also a fun fact is that a lot of our finding is going down to the basketball courts and playing basketball with the people here. It's really fun.
A bit about life here
Our apartment has people working on it, so sometimes they can see through our window. So sometimes I have to give an ok to my companion when he gets out of the shower so that he knows no one is looking through our window.
Life here is good. Night time is my favorite because you get to see the beautiful river with lights reflecting off of it illuminating the colorful buildings. It's so peaceful. It's a city, but it's quiet and safe.
We have the world's best hazelnut ice cream in one of the ice cream shops. He actually won a world wide championship for that ice cream and now he just stays in Landshut. No one knows why.
So we got the best ice cream in the world, and gorgeous nights here.
Pictures below are a duck pond (can't get enough ducks)
My flowers I flirted with
The best dog in the whole world
The companions I exchanged with. One is holding a frying pan because he got it as a gift.