Man I just wanna be like Jesus! That has been my quote for the last week haha! So the day after Christmas, I woke up and my voice was completely gone, and I had been sick with an annoying cold for about a week, so it just wrecked my voice, and then Thursday we were in Muggio with the zone leaders doing a scambio and my voice was still mega lost, and then that night I threw up a couple times just out of nowhere with maybe food poisoning or maybe the flue or something, and then the next day i woke up and I wasn't sick anymore! Voice was still lost but not sick with anything! Then the day after that I got that annoying cold back. Allora, now we are to today, where my voice is almost all the way back and Im almost fully not sick! Ok the reason I have been saying, "I just wanna be like Jesus!" is because it has been a little had lately haha! Like with holidays we couldn't meet with anyone, and sometimes my sweetheart of a companion can get under my skin, and with a headache its easy to get in a bad mood. Oh and having to bike 30 minutes up a hill with a broken bike to teach some wonderful Americans that have a harder time understanding is frosting on the cake! But seriously, I wouldn't replace these experiences for the world.
There is this underlining happiness that is always there. Its just, pure joy. I'm in Italy, serving these wonderful people, becoming a better missionary, a better brother, a better son, a better friend, a better person. I do this by throwing myself into his arms. Accepting him as my Savior, and asking him to help me, because I am not strong enough myself. I often imagine myself falling to the ground trying to grab him, and he kneels down with me, holds me, and lifts me back up. I am here to testify of Christ. I feel him. I feel his love. Having these gifts means my Heavenly Father trusts me enough to have them, and to share them. Why? It is because God wants his children to be happen. To have enduring, eternal, burning joy! I love visualizing, when times are rough, that when I am yoked to rejection, sickness, home-sickness, doubt, failure, remorse, guilt, hard companions, insecurities, humiliation, pressure, stress, regret, fear, that I look over and see the happiest guy in world strapped into that yoke with me. Jesus Christ. Why am I here? Its not because social expectations, my parents made me, I was just raised this way or any other garbage excuses. It is because he has asked me "to feed my sheep".
He has asked me if you love me, and I of course with wholeness of heart said yes. Now, I must feed his sheep. I love my Savior. I love him more than I can express in words. My roots have grown deep into the the rock of my Christ like an oak tree, unshaken by the wind. Now, I must feed his sheep by inviting them to receive his restored gospel. If any of you that are reading this are gonna be future missionaries,or actually anyone hear this, don't you worry about home sickness, don't worry about what other people think, don't worry about if people will reject you, if you're not strong enough or the language is too hard or you're gonna miss your old life, you get out there and you feed his sheep dang it. There are people out there starving, thirsting for what we have and we need to give it to them. They need this restored gospel. They need their Savior. Now give it to them. Don't worry about yourself, you have someone much better, much stronger pulling your yoke. Love as he loved.
He has reached into my very soul and purified it, and will continue doing so. He is the light and love of the world. At this very moment while I am typing this email, I feel his light and love so strongly. I hope you can feel it too. You have no idea the joy that is waiting for you. Oh my gosh, what a glorious gift The Savior is! Accept him. Do what you feel you need to do. Act with the answers you receive. These feelings of joy and peace, are a gift, we must act on them. If you feel there is something you need to do or change do it. If for any reason you are doing things that are distancing yourself from the Savior, stop it. Come unto him, and then share his light with the world. I say these things being called as his disciple, in the name of Jesus Christ Amen. Just be like Jesus, and you are happy. That's what missions do! Man, its a wonderful life!