I don't know if people know this but I always thought running was weird. I loved running in sports and stuff, but that was because I was playing the sport, I was running to get the ball, running was just a part of the game. The idea of only running...was always just strange. Like, you're just running. And to practice, you run, and to perform, you run. And you're just...running!! I don't know how to explain it haha. Please don't feel offended if you're into track or cross country or just enjoy running in general, I always thought it was an impressive hobby, it just wasn't for me. Once in a while I would go running, but I'd always feel so sick and want to throw up, and I was never consistent with it.
Here's an excerpt from my journal on one of the first days of my mission. Don't worry, this goes along with my message. "When I exercise, what does it feel like? It's painful, my heart is racing, it feels like mental warfare, I feel exhausted and burnt-out.” These are the necessary yet temporary feelings that compliment growing in strength. So as I perform missionary work, I'll be in pain, my heart may race, I may be anxious, it'll be mentally grueling, I'll be exhausted, I may be sweaty! Is something wrong with me? I thought I was doing the Lord's work! What's wrong with me?! Nothing wrong. Other than that you're growing stronger."
Just like how we feel pain and soreness when we're growing stronger physically, we experience growing pains and soreness when we're growing mentally, and emotionally, and spiritually. Working out in the morning is a good reminder that it's normal and necessary to feel pain when we are improving ourselves. So as I go throughout the day, and I feel like I'm inadequate, I feel like I don't know how to connect with others, I feel like my efforts aren't showing results, when I feel like crying in my Korean classes -- when my faith is tested -- I've been thinking, "I feel like I'm running. I wanna stop and throw up, there's no way I can do 4 more laps." Yet, if you've ever gone running before, it's not that much harder to take ONE more step, and then one more step after that, and then another, and then another, and then we keep putting one foot in front of the other. And soon, you'll be walking out the door :) So each morning, I've gone running. So I can start my day off knowing how the rest of it will feel. AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE CRAZIEST PART IS???? It gets a little easier everyday, and I've become better at running everyday :)
AND SO, just like how we can become better runners on the track, we can become better runners in life.
I hope this metaphor made sense. I love you all, you don't know how much your prayers and messages mean. Thanks for reading! Have a good week :)