Well yesterday was a stress break down for me. It felt good to cry to be honest as I realize how much I have to do and all the steps I have to take to get there. I am tired of the wickedness of the world and fruitless work I feel like I am doing. It is quite heavy to think that some people just want to go on doing the same thing over and over again and not change. I am tired. I am so very tired of California.
Yet I am grateful that I have someone at home that supports me with
there arms even though they are so far away. I am grateful God trusts
me so much to receive his love. I am grateful we are having success as
people are listening to us. I am grateful for the inspiration of
president and his inspired counsel. I am grateful for a father in
heaven who has given me a way to communicate with him.
Recently I have had the need to pray more in every way. I has allowed
me to let go of all the things I suffer from and let him take control.
It has been a difficult process to remember at times because you feel
like you shouldn't do anything. Satan tries to make us his idle slaves
his tools and puppets. God tries to make us kings and queens through
the labor of our own hands. I love how in the mission field you have
to continue to improve. It is made clear that you are not perfect, but
God is happy with your progress.
This week has been quite fun as currently we are teaching Miguel
Jimenez and Miguel Tolentino. They both have baptismal date and can't
wait to be baptized. They both are doing pretty week in the gospel
they just have to keep up there habits of reading and praying in order
to succeed. We are finding more people like them who are willing and
wanting to come to the truth. It provides a lot of hope in a world of
darkness and despair.
I did get to go on a exchange with the AP's, which was cool. I felt
like it was for my benefit as I have been super unsure about my
calling to be a Zone Leader. Elder Alcaraz was able to help me out a
lot as he was able to council me in the way I needed. We were able to
see miracles that night and since then we have been working hard. I
haven't had much fear after that it has helped me see what I can do. I
have to take a lot of time to plan now and I am going to start
expending more energy to do more things.